Archive for December, 2009

Dear “Maxis”

Dear “Maxis,”

After buying the first Sims 3 expansion called World Adventures, I have to say that I’m extremely disappointed but I’ve figured out what your deal is now. As I was doing the totally inane “push-block and get-prize” activity, I realized that I’d felt all of this before. And where? From your last project of heaping dung – Spore. After making it through exactly one activity, I put down the Sims 3 and I haven’t picked it up again.

On the other hand, I’ve figured out exactly what your deal is. You’ve managed to create a series of instructional games for people wanting to know how to play real big boy games. Spore was all about creating miniture versions of RTS and City/Empire Builder games, but dumbed down to the point that it was boring and with a UI designed for simplicity, not efficiency. In other words, it was not only boring due a major lack of any complexity, but actually trying to use the functionality was an exercise in extreme frustration. With World Adventures, you’ve managed to give people training wheels for the “Lara Croft as Tomb Raider” puzzle-style adventure games.

AND IT SUCKS.

I’ve grown to hate you “Maxis” and at this point I don’t want you to create SimCity 5 because you’ll ruin it, just like you’ve ruined the Sims. You’ve taken all the tongue in cheek fun out of the game! Examples:

1) Woohoo is no longer firework explosions and “Grrs!” but harp music and floating hearts.
2) No hottub. No. Hot. Tub. For fuck’s sake, REALLY?
3) This was the preview for Sims 2:

I can’t in a million billion years imagine you doing something like that again. You’re too boring and stupid and tame. You’ve forced me to put your name into scare quotes!

So fuck you “Maxis” and fuck the products you’re producing. I will not be fueling your demise with my money from this point forward.

Sincerely,
Donolectic

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